glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
