When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just blew my weed a kiss
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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