I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
