she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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