The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This is classic penis vs brain.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
