I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
