what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
