I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
