yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
