The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
