Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
