At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
