If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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