Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
