its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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