Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
