that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
