I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
