Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
