There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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