If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
