Fuck appropriateness.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
