do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
