the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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