there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
