I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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