im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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