Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
