i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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