It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
