Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize