So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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