weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
