thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
