Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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