Whod you bang
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize