I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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