idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
