i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
