This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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