I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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