That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
