I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
