is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
