Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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