If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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