your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
