he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
