She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
