I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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