You smell like stripper and shame
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
