i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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