just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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