Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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