I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize