i would punch a child for taco bell
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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