i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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