the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
