So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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