I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
