I'm drive I can fine osifer
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
