Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
