If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
