I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
