When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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