I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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